Archives/Letters

     

Search Keyword:

My husband's overscheduling of the kids is driving

"Hi Annie

My husband and I can't agree on one aspect of our parenting. We have two boys, nine and twelve. Last year it was crazy. He had them in so many activities, that we hardly ever had any down time. Now it's fall and he's started enrolling them again. Basketball, hockey, swimming, scouts. Every day of the week will soon be booked and most of the weekends. I've tried to talk to him about the toll that it'll take on our lives, but he won't listen. He doesn't want them involved in drugs or hanging out with bad kids and he says the best way to stop this is to keep them busy. They don't even like hockey, but he wants to do more coaching. Any ideas on how to get him to stop? I think he'd listen to anyone other than me, as he thinks I'm exaggerating.

Paige

"


Hi Paige

Over scheduling is hard on everyone and despite what your husband thinks, not good for the kids. Activities are all well and good and exposing them to different sports/activities helps them expand their horizons. However, from what you've told me, it sounds as if it's out of control in your home. No wonder you want off the express train! Not only that, but if your husband continues to press the kids in to a sport they don't like, it'll just result in resentment. Often people get carried away with a certain activity because at the core they are trying to live their dreams through their children.

Everyone needs down time and as I'm sure you know, it's important to the children's development. Quite often too a lot of these activities are scheduled around the dinner period and that prevents families from eating properly together as well. The most effective way for kids to stay out of trouble, is to be engaged in family activities and that doesn't necessarily mean scheduled activities. Eating together in a relaxed way and sharing what's new. Going for a walk, watching a movie together, washing the family pet, checking out a thunder storm from the deck together. These are all things that happen spontaneously when you don't have to be somewhere and they are just as important. If your husband can learn to strike a balance between the two kinds, then that would be great. To ease him along the path, I would visit your local bookstore and/or library as there are a number of parenting books that deal with this issue. Try leaving them around the coffee table, so as to give him a serious hint. That together with reading this, if he's open to it, will I hope help you out. Best of luck.

Annie

Date Entered: 2006-09-11 10:39:10.0
Date Last Modified: 2006-09-11 10:43:28.0

Status: archive
View Counter: 757