Annie the Nanny
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I'm going to end up with a spoiled brat!
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Hi Annie
My four year old son has only one set of grandparents now (my parents were killed in a car crash almost a year ago). My in-laws have always been the spoiling type, but since my parents died they seem to have gone completely crazy. Anything he asks for he gets. I've tried to discourage them but I don’t want to seem totally ungrateful. What should I do? My husband thinks it’s ok, but I'm worried I'm going to end up with a spoiled brat.
Melanie (Calgary)
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Dear Melanie,
I'm so sorry to hear about your parents. With regard to your issue, you didn’t tell me how much time your in-laws spend with your son. If it’s just occasionally, with the odd day here or there, their tendancy to spoil could simply be considered an enormous treat. But if they live closer or have more contact, this could be potentially damaging and you’re right to be concerned. You’re not being ungrateful to explain to your in laws, that their spoiling behavior could have both permanent and unpleasant consequences. The fact that your husband seems to be siding with your parents also has the potential to send a very mixed message to your son. My advice is to sit down with your husband first and explain to him why this bothers you so much. Talk it through together so that you are both on the same page. Once he understands your concerns and is willing to work with you, talk to his parents together. Explain that although you appreciate their generosity, giving a child everything he wants in life doesn’t prepare him for reality and robs him of the joy and reward of working for something special. Remember you are the parent. If you see something happening to your child that disturbs you, it’s up to you to stand up for them. Best of luck.
Date Entered: 2006-04-10 13:52:07.0
Date Last Modified: 2006-05-18 16:07:37.0
Status: archive
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